love

I love my son more than anything in this world... my parents dont know it.. coz they dont really understand what love is all about...

LOVE doesnt means when you throw a million dollar straight to you kids

LOVE doesnt means when you want you kids to love you.. remember you.. celebrate your birthday and parents day.. and buy such an expensive gift for you.. while you never even care about them...

LOVE doesnt means when you hit.. and slap your kids for some stupid reasons

LOVE means when you be there beside your kids.. when you love them.. when you cherish them.. and when you feel that they are your everything as you are their everything..

LOVE means when you want them to respect you.. you have to respect them first.. listen to what they want as they will do to you... not giving everything they need.. but make it possible for them to earn it.. from their afford

LOVE means hurt when you seem them cry or sad... and share the happiness when you see them smile...

I Dedicated all my life to my son.. as he is everything to me...

When i have a discussion with my parents... my parents did not agree to some of my stand.. my stand is easy... i love my son and i want him to be with me.. no matter what...

it might seem selfish right now.. coz all i care is my need.. i need my son to be with me... but if you could ask my son 10 years from now.. he will tell you.. that all he want in his life is his mommy ( parents).... not money.. not grandparents

Dont talk shit to me by telling me my son didnt know anything at this age ( 3 month).. you can i say i am wrong.. but i know he is developing his self confident.. trust and whatsoever.. from the people who is very close to him.. and dont you think that should be his mother..

I know to some might now understand and agree with me.. if i tell you i wanna bring my kid to sungai petani.. raise my kid on my own.. why struggle to finish my pre-law...and i tell you what.. i dont need none of you to understand me... coz i know what is right for me...

Dont take my son from me.. for i didnt take yours...
Dont let my happiness fade away..

They said " Dont lie to your kids"

They said dont ever lie to your kids unless they will grow up and become a big fat liar.. oh well that's what happened to me..

I did not come from a wealthy family.. i have my dark story.. a story that make me appreciate whatever i have today... but then as my mum's business running better.. i have to admit.. my family could get anything they want easily... that's the way life goes.. once you're down you will go nothing less then going up.. so now is the wonderful era of my family..

but what make me feel sad is.. my parents was hardly want to help his own kids but always willing to help others... their reason was.. to make their kids learn what life was all about.. being independant.. and yes me and my sibling are all can live on our own.. and we also know how to lie better...

At home.. my parents always eat outside.. eat at restaurant.. eat something expensive but me.. and my sibling.. will eat craps from canteen.. my mum own a canteen.. a few canteens that had make her business grew bigger.. and richer....when there were foods from canteen that want to throw into rubbish.. my mum will give a call and ask her worker to send the food to home..

oh well me and my sibling not that fool to eat those craps..

when I ( oh well i always be the only one who open the mouth out).. told my mum that she can eat all good stuff that a rich people could get.. and we only eat those craps.. my mum will said that... she and my dad dont have the money to buy us good foods..

BUT?? why can they?

my father always told us that he dont have money.. and now he is jobless.. but my grandparents can name which part of the world they want to go.. and my father will buy the ticket as soon as possible...

my mother always told us that no one understand that she not really have money.. but she can buy a honeymoon ticket to her friends.. some GUESS watch to his friend's daughter.. and she also can pay someone rent.. and stuff like that...

one day i took my mum to clinic coz i've got to ask the doctor about the pregnancy protection.. bring my mum coz i thought she want to pay the bill... she brought along her friends with her daughter.. a little girl.. in the car my mum told me that she not gonna pay the bill as she dont have the money.. but in the clinic.. while we waited for the doctor..suddenly my mum brought out RM50 from her wallet and gave to the little girl.. i was there watching all that.. and i was like " what the fucking hell is happening here?"... but then i kept the mouth shout as a good girl..

my dad told me.. dont buy this and that coz it is waste of money.. he even cried out loud when i wanna buy a shoe price about RM100.. and but when my sister want to buy a LEVIS price RM300.. and dad gave the money smilingly...

So you tell me.. if one day you found i lie straight to your face.. where did i learn that from?

if you dont have the money.. act like one.. and if you do.. what is wrong if you spent for your own kids? after all they're your own kids..

YEs i'm not gonna spoil my Benjamin by giving everything that he want.. i might tell him i dont have any money.. and i will react like one..

Fine if you wanna use your money for your own good.. if you dont wanna spent to your kids.. but dont used it for somebody else.. i guess somebody else would be the last person that we should spent our money for.. oh well.. family should come first..