ALL about Benjamin Rayyan

1) Benjamin suka sendawa sangat kuat... mcm orang tua yang sendawa.. dan kadang2 bila dia sendawa.. akan keluarlah bau susu dia yang sangat busuk...

2) suka tido... most of the time dia akan tido... hanya bangun untuk minum susu dan salin pampers... and also... mandilah..

3) ada banyak duit dalam bank.. mommy ngan daddy dia tengah tunggu masa aje nak curik.. untuk gi honeymoon ke??? or.. only his mommy yang berangan mcm tue???

4) suka mengeliat... ikut perangai mommy dia.. yang juga suka mengeliat...

5) Suka kentut... mommy dan daddy dia kaki kentut.. cuma daddy dia ajerlah yang ketut sangat busuk... so benjamin nie memang sahlah anak me and mazran.. coz suka kentut mcm kami jugak.. hahaha

6) Badan dia chubby sangat... sama mcm mommy and daddy dia yang juga chubby...

7) Manja... kalau nangis.. nangis manja2.. dan nak orang peluk.. i guess ni ikut perangai mommy dia...huhuhu

8) Benjamin got a big head... mcm ayah dia.. susahlah nak cari songkok or kopiah after this...

kenduri

Yesterday... kitaorang buat kenduri kesyukuran untuk Benjamin Rayyan.. di Gombak..

A lot of people had come.. most of them were my mother in law's relatives.. and some of it were my friends.. YES some of my friends turned up yesterday.. and some of them dont...

I could say that all people that came had said that.. "besarnya baby!!".. that was their favourite words.. oh yes.. benjamin is big.. because his mommy and daddy is big.. oh well.. what a big deal? i love to hug benjamin.. hahahaha...

Yesterday was a very tired day.... sangat letih sampai tido mati.. mazran went to sleep early.. and me quite latelah.. near 4am.. coz need to layan2 benjamin...one thing about benjamin is.. dia nie siang2 tido mati.. and then malam.. when i try to get some sleep.. dia mulalah celik2 mata...

ohhh before i forgot... kerana kenduri kesyukuran.. benjamin dapat banyak sangat duit... hahahahhaha..Benjamin already have his own bank account.. with ATM card OK!!!.. right after he got his birth certificate.. his daddy went to maybank and open an account for him.. and now.. at this momment he got more than a thousand.. i guess more than i ever kept for nearly 18 years.... hahahah

ok...

Thank you Benjamin,

Dearest Benjamin

Moommy want to thank you so very much for teaching me that you are a human being with needs, loves, hates, desires.. just like me..Thanks coz teaching me how to control myself, you teach me how to teach.. and the most important things is..thank you coz giving me a wonderful smile.. even when you're sleep..

Benjamin.. thank you for the big cry when you are hungry and when you need someone to hug you or even been there with you.. you taught me how sad it is not to fulfill you need when you cant even say whatever you want...you taught me that i do have a mother instinct.. so i'll really know what you need..

More i understand about you.. more i will understand about myself..

And thank you.. coz you had make me become a mother.. i am so bless of being your mother...

Regard,
Mommy

Dont Lie to your children principle

· Don’t lie to them about Christmas, regardless of how innocent you think it may be.

· Don’t lie to them when they ask you a question. Take the time to explain it in a way that they can comprehend it.

· Teach them how to properly manage money. If you’re not good at it, take them to someone who is. You are the example.

· Go to church with your child, don’t drop them off and pick them up. What example are you setting when you do that?

· Encourage them in everything they do. Don’t destroy their dreams and ambition, because you gave up or jealous.

· Apologize to your children when you are wrong. You set the example. Your child will remember, appreciate and respect you more when you can admit that you are wrong.

· Treat your spouse with respect. Your child is watching you.

· Spend quality time with your child on a regular basis. Remember, God gave you this responsibility, not your Nanny, Babysitter or their Grandparents.

Dear Baby...

Abang.. please read this to Benjamin...

Dear Benjamin,

Mommy is soo sorry coz mommy couldnt be there for ya..mommy got exam to sit and mommy need to be away from you.. but that doesnt mean that mommy dont love ya.. i do love ya from the day you grew up inside my wombs and even more when you're in this world now..

I am so down when you're not around..everyday i remember you.. every momment i open my eyes, my heart dying want to hug and kiss you.. i want to touch you.. to hold you.. to take you in my arms.. i wanna do it so badly.. god know how i suffer without you..

world mean nothing for me.. without you..

Benjamin.. you want to know how much i love you?? i love you so very much till i dont know how to live without you.. i dont know how to make things right without you.. you are everything for me.. baby.. i love you.. i really love you..

i love you.. so i wanna be there with you.. i wanna protect you.. i want to be the one who stand behind you.. i want to do the very best for you..

i am sorry coz i am not there with you now.. but trust me.. mommy will make it up to you.. when mommy get back to KL...

mommy love you benjamin

pics of baby that i got from my husband today

i'm away from my baby

The hardest thing i ever did in my life is being away from my baby..

Sebelum nie.. benjamin ada kat dalam perut.. so wherever i go.. benjamin akan sentiasa ada dengan i kt dlm perut.. but then suddenly benjamin dah x ada.. and my perut dan kempis.. i sangat2 rasa kehilangan benjamin when he is not here with me...

I couldnt see people hold a baby.. i couldnt see other people's kid.. and i couldnt even stand to hear people asking about my baby.. while benjamin is not with me.. life had been so hard for me this time... and i am soo down now..

the reason why i have to leave my baby to my mother in law and my husband back in KL.. because i have final exam to handle in Sungai Petani.. cant concentrate to take care of benjamin... but leave benjamin with other people for 12 days.. will be something that i will regret for the rest of my life...

being away from benjamin means that i will miss his smile.. i will miss his geliat2.. the way he sleep.. how he cry for milk.. i will miss a lot of things.. and the worst is.. i will miss how he grow up... too bad.. sometimes i feel like i am fail as a mother.. i couldnt be there for my kid...

There was time when i really want leave my final exam and repeat it next year.. there was time when i do really feel like want to run to KL.. i miss to hug my baby.. i want to kiss him and sleep next to him.. but the thing is.. too many things i have to consider.. especially my mum.. study in sungai petani was my mum's idea.. and if quit.. or repeat it.. it will hurt her so much.. and i dont to hurt her.. not even close.. soo.. she always be the reason why i stand strong here...

What my benjamin doing now??? i miss him like hell.. arghhhh...